75 lessons of late
Sunday, March 31st, 2024
I love my cat even more than I thought (and that was already a lot).
Making something with your hands makes other things feel better.
Hugs also make things feel better.
Taking a compliment well is an art form. But so is giving one. Be gracious and genuine in both.
I am so happy that libraries exist.
Staring at the moon makes me feel small in the best possible way.
Solitude is never as lonely as being in the company of people who don’t see you.
I like being single except for the lack of kissing.
I have survived a couple of huge, unexpected expenses in the last month. For this, I am proud of myself.
The feeling of being proud of yourself for a small step will inspire you further and longer than shaming yourself for not being at the finish line.
I feel things very deeply and for years this was not encouraged.
Now I feel a lot and I am happy to celebrate it.
I enjoy baking cakes, but I don’t have enough people close by to share them with.
I am not my thoughts, nor my judgements about my thoughts.
People-pleasers are unsafe people in that they lack authenticity. I am a safer person now.
Care is the loveliest thing to receive.
I need my pink lipstick to have cool undertones.
I like falling asleep with the lamp on and book open.
The faster you let yourself feel a feeling or shed a tear, the faster it passes.
This does not mean you share every feeling.
Discernment is an underrated skill.
The human body is so complex and yet singing and dancing are proven medicine. I think that’s pretty awesome.
Some people will like you for who you are, and others will like how you make them feel.
Some people will like you, and others will care for you.
Warmth and respect outlast the chemical attraction.
It is not about the feeling, it’s how you act as a result.
“I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home” is a real song lyric by a real band named “The Weepies”.
You can’t change anyone. That call has to come from inside the house, on their terms, with their own effort. And you will waste time trying to connect with people based on an imagined potential, instead of what is right in front of you. We can all heal together, alongside each other, but be careful of being drawn into each other’s tired dynamics and unconscious power struggles and codependencies. For so long, I wanted romantic relationships to offer a sort of wish fulfillment- someone changing for me, being better for me, choosing me. I knew how far I had come when that exact situation fell into my lap and suddenly, I didn't want it anymore. It didn’t feel romantic, nor did it feel safe. Was I up on the pedestal again? Was I embarking on another journey of having to teach a man how to love me? I no longer wanted to participate in the dynamic I had craved for so long.
I can teach myself to wink with both eyes.
I have always dreaded running into exes, except you.
Making lists is essential.
Have parmesan on hand at all times.
Coffee drinkers are to tea drinkers, what dog people are to cat people. And I am a tea drinker who owns a cat.
It is not being a mother that scares me, but how motherhood is structured in society.
Flexibility is sexy (not the yoga kind, but that too).
I like people who say yes to random plans.
Popular clichés like “just trust your gut” and “follow your intuition” and “when you know, you know” are actually not simple and feel very complicated, especially for those who have experienced trauma. It is okay if these things do not come easily to you. Do not let your inability to connect with these phrases reinforce your perceived brokenness.
Calming my nervous system is where my healing began.
You can hold compassion for someone, while also not allowing for your own mistreatment.
Giving the benefit-of-the-doubt to people you’ve just met seems generous, but can actually be unhelpful. Instead, you can choose to extend your grace to those who actively demonstrate consideration for you.
How someone handles rejection tells you a lot about them. Pay attention.
Remaining grateful for life will carry you through pain.
If you regularly abandon yourself, you will have a hard time trusting others. Start inside, be someone you can trust.
Many people talk about the kind of partner they want without embodying those traits themselves. If you desire peace in a relationship but you are not demonstrating that peace, you are just looking for someone to fill the void of what you lack. Start inside.
Pay more attention to the ingredient list than the calorie content.
Just three deep breaths a day reduces cortisol in the body.
I still feel fear, but I have gradually gained confidence in moving forward alongside my fear.
I also can’t control anything. I’ve given up. I’m finding ways to enjoy the ride.
None of us are ever too old for an Easter Egg Hunt.
Whenever you need to, you can close your eyes and take a moment. Life is strange and wonderful.
I’ve never regretted spending money on picture frames.
Take the time to discover who you are and dare yourself to accept all of it.
Once I began to love myself, I wanted to be close to people who loved me too.
Sometimes the most exciting part of my day is my after-lunch cup of tea. Don’t feel sorry for me. This truly excites me.
Do not let your grandparents become forgotten.
Try something new and be okay with being bad at it.
I am unlucky in games of chance, but I get excited to keep trying. My biological grandpa was a gambling addict.
I might not be interested in something, but it quickly becomes interesting when someone I love is interested in it.
Spoil someone you care about.
Let someone spoil you.
It truly is less about the words and more about the actions.
Integrity is aligning the two.
When I picture my highest self, I picture warmth.
I love that I am quick to laugh and I love this quality in others.
I think Ann Patchett has convinced me to write a novel (…not personally, but, through her writing).
Challenge yourself to come off auto-pilot and often. What do you notice around you?
Move through the world as someone who is ready to help a stranger with directions, with their bags, with a smile.
You can actually talk to the people who take your coffee order. Interact. Connect.
Having compassion for yourself while simultaneously holding yourself accountable is going to do more for your self-care than a hydrating face mask.
An apology is an act of strength, not shame.
“Time is money” is most often used by people who feel that their time is too valuable to give away. But that’s what makes it the best gift.
We so often want the quick fix. The solution. The medicine instead of the prevention. Slow down, examine the roots. Tend to them.
Being sensitive doesn’t always feel like a superpower, but it is.
We are losing the ability to live with discomfort. Technology and the modern age aim to make everything easier, quicker, more available. And we have more power than ever- the exact song we want to hear, the next upgrade we absolutely need. And then we begin dating someone new or we start a new job and there are unknowns and question marks and imperfections and we don’t know how to proceed and dig deeper. There is true beauty to be found in the discomfort, for it also means discovery.
Be curious. Ask questions. Don’t stop when you think you know enough. You never will. Each day is an opportunity for wonder and what a gift it is to live in awe. To live at all.